i like to think i have a way with words. i like to envision myself as an activist — someone with opinions who wants to change the world. and in my own little way, i am. but this young woman is inspiring. i have never faced the threat of death for simply wanting an education; i was able to freely move about my campus any way i pleased. even before Malala was threatened by the Taliban, she spoke out. she stood for what she believed and risked her life. though i may never make headlines like Malala, i hope the same can be said of me someday.
since getting engaged, one of the hardest things i’ve had to deal with is the idea of home. and not just leaving my current living space, but moving to another and creating a completely new concept of home.
these are all words that come to mind when i think about home. but what if home changes physically. if i move thousands of miles away, will these adjectives be true? what if i only move across town? this idea of moving from my current home (which happens to be my childhood home) is so fun and exciting. but it’s scary because i get to determine what will make my next living space a home and not just some other place where i sleep and eat food. this is something i would like to be intentional about, no matter where i live.
i am not a comic fan of any type.
fiancee knows this, but still sends me comics anyways (because he’s a fan).
so this morning, he sent me this.
then sighed and wondered while it loaded, why did he send me another? i don’t get comics!
but this made my week and it was a comic i could handle (because really, who doesn’t love C.S. Lewis quotes). and it really hit home for me, as i have struggled with being open and vulnerable as i move towards marriage.
i hate being open and vulnerable because it’s scary and difficult and it means working with other people. and to be honest, there are many days where it would be easier to sit under my pile of blankets and keep to myself. sure, being vulnerable with my fiancee or friends can be hard at times, but it’s opening up to people who don’t like you. it’s opening yourself up to people you’re unsure of, people who have treated you poorly in the past and saying, hey, this is what i’m feeling. because that’s where i find myself these days. i find myself having to be vulnerable with people i find difficult to love and trust. do i have to spill everything out of my gut to them? no (because boundaries). but sometimes to move forward in life, you have to let these people know where you are in life.
i used to write a blog.
but then i stopped.
i went to school.
i met my fiancee.
and now i’m getting married.